Brothers?

Both of my sweet, sweet boys are napping right now.... So I started looking through pictures of Casey when he was a few weeks old....

As soon as Connor was born, Greg and I agreed he and Casey look a lot alike... But looking through these pictures right now absolutely stunned me. I can't believe how much they resemble each other!

I am such a blessed mommy. The first one is Connor and the second is Casey.

Take a look:

Changes....

So many changes have occurred in our household the past few weeks. Of course the addition of Baby Connor has totally changed the dynamics of our entire family. In addition to having a tiny baby in the house now, everything else has changed. We now have 2 adults and 2 kids. Either Greg or I is always doing something with one of the kids.

Those are all changes I totally expected and have been embracing. However, there have been a lot of other surprises to me as well....

My heart has opened up in a way I didn't know was possible the past few weeks. I am more relaxed this time around than I was with Casey... I think this is mainly because I know what to expect this go around. I am taking in every single moment with my new baby and my family. I absolutely love looking at both of my boys. Casey is so sweet with Connor. I love watching him give Connor kisses or tell me that Connor is crying and he needs his pacifier. I stare at Connor with such joy and excitement because I have living proof in Casey of the joy that lies ahead as Connor grows and develops. I feel our family is more closely on the way to being complete now that Connor has joined us and that is a wonderful feeling.

I am so incredibly thankful to have two beautiful, healthy boys. I wouldn't trade them for the world. I am also thankful that my two boys have such a loving, kind and involved daddy who cares about them and loves them unconditionally.

I am blessed.

He's Here!!!

I have been meaning to blog over the past few weeks but just have not made the time to sit down and do it.

Baby Connor arrived on July 20, 2011 at 8:25am. He weighed 8lbs and 6oz's and was 20 1/2 inches long.

Greg and I went to the hospital at 6am that morning for my scheduled C-section. My doctor was fantastic and all the hospital staff were great. They took great care of me during the actual c section and I was so glad I didn't get sick or feel terrible like I did with Casey during the operation.

We were able to leave the hospital on Friday and I was SO glad to get to come home. I missed Casey while we were in the hospital and wanted to recover in my own bed!

Here are some pictures of my newest bundle of joy:

Only a Few More Days!

I haven't blogged since Memorial Day.... Not because there hasn't been much going on... but mainly because we've been so busy and I've been so tired and trying to prepare for the new baby to arrive.

Only a few more days of being pregnant! The baby will be here Wednesday morning around 8am! This is the last weekend as a family of 3 and life is surely going to be changed forever.

Casey has been a little off this week. I think he senses the changes that are coming and is able to look around and see new baby stuff around the house and his stuff in new areas. Despite his increased defiance and overall just being "off" I love him so very much. I can't wait to see the type of big brother he will be. And I can't wait to see if his little brother resembles him at all. Greg and I are going on a date tonight one last time for the baby comes. We have been working hard to get stuff done around the house, buy necessary baby items and clean.

Can't wait until Wednesday to see what our future holds!

Long Weekend...

Memorial Day was this weekend so I had a 3 day weekend. It was so much fun! I got to spend all three days with Casey and friends and family! Greg spent all day yesterday putting together the play set for Casey. It was a lot of hard work but turned out great! Casey was so excited when he woke up this morning and FINALLY got to go play on it! We grilled out a lot this weekend and did things around the house that needed to be done. Greg also put together Connor's crib so I feel like his room is finally going to start getting put together. I will be 32 weeks on Tuesday and cannot wait to meet Baby Connor. Casey is really starting to grasp the idea of Baby Connor and he even hugged my belly tonight and then sang a song to him. After that he told Baby Connor about his new swing set and the ice cream he had tonight. He melts my heart and I can't wait to see both of my boys together! Here are a few pics from the weekend.....

Learning from those we don't know.....

This post is about the impact that people we don't even know can have on us.....

A few months ago I saw a status update from someone on facebook who was asking for prayers for a friend of theirs. They posted the website of the couple's blog for anyone that wanted to see what had happened.

Being the curious person I am, I went to the website. I learned that the blog had been started by a husband who was excited to share his journey into parenthood with his wife, to those following their blog. They had begun postings when they first learned of their pregnancy and continued to update it with pictures and events surrounding their soon to be baby girl.

The most recent post that had caused their blog to even be posted on facebook that evening was not joyous. The couple was traveling to visit family on a wintery night. They were in a horrific car crash and the wife was instantly killed. She was ready to have her baby at anytime. They ended up delivering the baby almost immediately. The father survived the crash, and the baby was delivered but had significant damage to her brain. She only lived a few days and suddenly the husband was left in a world with out his wife and daughter.

The husband continued to update his blog with information about his daughter, her passing, and then his thoughts and feelings about his new reality.

Several months later he continues to update the blog. He has turned it into a series of letters he writes his wife and daughter and shares his feelings, thoughts and prayers to the rest of those reading.

Everytime I read one of his posts I am overcome with emotion. My husband usually asks me what I'm doing and I tell him I'm reading that particular blog. I think he believes I'm a bit odd for reading a blog of someone I have never even met. But the more of the postings I read, I feel a sense of connectedness to this man and family I've never met.

By reading these posts, I feel so many things. I am reminded of the preciousness of life. I am reminded that life can change in the blink of an eye. I am reminded that we are promised nothing and everything all at the same time. And reading this man's journey makes me think about so many things on so many levels. I imagine what I would do in a tragic situation. I wonder how I'd handle life. I wonder if my faith would remain as strong as this man's has in recent months.

I am touched by this family's strength and willingness to share their story of grief and healing in such a touching manner.

And it always help me be reminded that I can never be too busy for one more kiss from my son, one more hug from my husband or just thanking God for the things I DO have in this world.

Plugging Along

Life in the Madison house continues to be blissful, chaotic, busy, interesting and delightful all at the same time.

Casey is talking a ton these days and really putting together thoughts and ideas. It is so much fun to watch and witness. He has also been working on learning his letters. We work with him at home but Ms. Liz has been working with him a lot it appears. He can now look at a sentence and read you each letter from start to finish. I take the same delight in it as if he had just found a cure for an incurable disease.

Baby Connor continues to grow and kick. I will be 30 weeks in less than 2 days. I am getting really anxious to meet him and can't believe its getting so close already. We are going to start on his room this week and I think once we actually start it, it'll come together quite quickly.

Greg took the entire week off work this past week and was able to sod the backyard with the assistance and hard work of my dad. The yard looks great. Greg's mom bought a play set to go out back so I cannot wait for some pretty weather and the swing set to be put together! We are so lucky that Casey has such wonderful and caring grandparents.

So Much To Do ....So Little Time

It seems like I have so little time right now....

Too little time with Casey on the weekends....

Too little time to get prepared for Connor.....

Too little time to clean my house.....

I know somehow all these things will work out... but it can be a bit frustrating.

On weekends I don't want to spend a majority of my time cleaning. Casey needs and deserves my attention. After all I am at work throughout the week. I ENJOY spending time with him. He's so much fun and a true joy in my life that I don't want to spend my time cleaning when I can spend time with him.

By the time I was 30 weeks along with Casey I had his room totally finished and ready to go practically. I am 27 weeks today with Connor and have done NOTHING! I don't even have his room painted yet. I know somehow things will work out and we'll have everything we need but it feels much more stressful because there is so much less attention it seems when you have your second baby. With Casey we had a huge baby shower and were so lucky to have gifts from others and hand me downs. Its a silly thing to worry about, I know, but at the end of the day, I am a PLANNER... and know this will work out somehow.

Cleaning is a whole different story. I have zero time for it. Especially detailed cleaning. Between being pregnant, chasing a toddler and keeping up with daily life, I am always finding something in my house it seems and saying "yuck" I need to clean.

Despite these minor frustrations..my life is FABULOUS. Our family had a great Easter weekend. It was so fun to see Casey so excited about Easter. He is such a fun kiddo! I can't wait to see him as a big brother. Connor is kicking all the time and Greg has been able to feel it also. That's definitely my favorite part of pregnancy. So far I have been using Bio Oil on my stomach. It came highly recommended and so far I am very impressed! By this point with Casey I had quite a red stomach from stretch marks. So far since using Bio Oil, I have none! Sometimes its the little things......

Here are some Easter pics below:

Spring is Here!

Things have been very busy in the our household the last few weeks. It seems now that Spring is here there is just so much to do. I think it mainly feels like that because there is still SO much to do in our new house. While I think we have gotten a lot done in only the 6 months since we moved in, there just seems like there is still so much to do! And of course all of it requires money. It also hasn't helped that I got pregnant within a month of us moving here and that has definitely slowed me down with getting things accomplished around here.

I am now almost 25 weeks pregnant and getting to feel Connor kick throughout the day. There have been a few times where I have been able to see his movement from just looking at my belly...but its still rare enough that Greg can't catch it quite it. I feel like I had so much more accomplished by this same point in my pregnancy with Casey. I keep trying not to stress about it as we still have 3 months until Connor arrives. Since I am not having any baby shower with this kiddo though, it feels a bit more daunting to make sure we have everything we need by July.

Casey has been doing great and watching him learn to talk more is just so much fun. He has such a cute personality and is so genuinely sweet. We've placed a big emphasis on teaching him manners since he started talking, and just recently he really is starting to "get it.".... Its funny because now when we tell him to do something, he politely says "no thanks." It makes it more difficult to be irritated with him thats for sure!

This weekend was cousin Gus's birthday so my parents came to visit and we spent time with the family. Casey is such a lucky boy to have so many family members that he gets to see regularly and make an effort to spend time with him. Its nice for him to have a cousin that is only a few months older than he is.

Thats all for now!

Axis 1: Pregnancy Funk

So I spend my days working with families dealing with mental health issues....

Naturally, when I start feeling out of sorts, I start diagnosing myself. Today I officially diagnosed myself with Pregnancy Funk.

Maybe its hormones, maybe its stress I am under...either way I am definitely in a funk.

This pregnancy has been very different than my last one. And while I am very grateful I haven't been a puking mess these past few months, I still can't help that I feel like a lifeless blob right now. I was so excited at 20 weeks when I started to get my energy back and then a week later fell into the pregnancy funk trap.

Either way, I am determined to enjoy this pregnancy as much as possible and not get down. Life is too good in too many other ways right now. After all pregnancy is a relatively small part of my life in the big picture. I am a mom, work full time and have an adorable husband. All three require a LOT of time and devotion daily.

Two funny things today with Casey.... This morning he was so attached to me..wanted a bunch of hugs and kisses before leaving with Greg to go to the sitter. It was so sweet and just what I needed to start my day. Tonight when we put him to bed, he was a total mess. He tantrumed, screamed and fussed for a good 15 -20 minutes. Greg and I laid in his bed and sang our normal nightly songs until he calmed down. At times though we just busted out laughing because it was so comical. If you don't laugh, you'll cry though.

Until next time....

Introducing....................................

Connor Russell Madison!

We had our 20 week ultrasound this week and our second baby is a BOY! Greg and I are thrilled and cannot wait to see what Casey's little brother will be like. We decided on the name because we just both liked the name Connor.... and his middle name is after my maternal grandfather who passed away several years ago. If Baby Connor has half the integrity and personality that his great grandfather did, he will be a wonderful person!!!!!!

Back At It

Its a bit shameful that I am finding time to blog this week only because I am at home with the flu and really have little else I could be doing. Well there is a LOT I could or would love to be doing... but I don't feel good enough to leave the bed, really.

SO much has been going on lately that its been a challenge to keep up some days. Greg has been working crazy hours and I have too. Normally only one of us has a crazy schedule at a time, allowing us to keep balance. Lately though it seems we have both been swamped. I am so proud of him for being such a hard worker though. Even though there are nights I wish his laptop would die and the Radio Shack employees would fall of a cliff for a few hours, I appreciate his willingness to work so hard for his family. Today he got to meet the CEO of T-Mobile! Not many people were chosen for this at all and it just proves that hard work and dedication does pay off.

Casey is doing so great these days. I keep saying I enjoy each phase of his life better than the next but its really true. He is talking a lot and his personality is really starting to shine through! He really is a great kid and we are very lucky parents! Here are a few pics of him lately:

reflections

Greg has been out of town pretty much this entire week for work....

This week has felt quite long..... As much as I crave quiet and down time in my busy life... When the house is quiet it doesn't feel normal anymore. Without hearing Greg and Casey play, laugh, and chase each other, it feels like the house is missing something. My bed has felt too big at night, the house too quiet in the morning and while I've maintained the routine we always keep, my routine has also felt strangely "off."

I've had a lot of time to think this week as I've been up alone after Casey goes to bed each night.... Here are a few things that have run through my mind...
- I miss my husband when hes not around. A lot.
-While the house has stayed cleaner with just Casey and I home, I miss the clutter and Greg misplacing items on almost a daily basis and then asking me where they are
- While I have had a lot of fun this week spending time with Casey individually, I really appreciate our growing family
-I wonder how on earth I would be home with two kids when the next baby arrives if Greg goes out of town again (which he will)
-I still don't feel like I balance life well despite having had Casey almost 2 1/2 years ago. I am no closer to feeling balanced between my responsibilities of having a stressful job, helping my toddler grow and learn, keeping my house clean, having time to myself that is enjoyable, spending quality time with my husband and all the other things I feel I should be doing.
-Despite what is listed above, I have learned to let some things go. Yes, that may mean I don't clean toilets as frequently as I used to and the laundry does pile up.
-Learning to let those things go have helped me enjoy the nights with my son after a long day of work or spending time with my husband and not always informing him of what's due for a cleaning
-I need to take in the minutes, moments and events with Casey daily. I feel like I barely remember what it was like when he was 6 months, 12 months or even 18 months old...it makes me wonder how having a second baby will make me think about these moments and milestones.....will i try to pay more attention? or will i be so busy the moments just fly by?

Despite the long days, the stressful days or the lonely ones, I am so incredibly grateful. And I will continue to remind myself, everytime I find myself getting irritated with Casey because I've redirected him for the 100th time in 4 minutes, that I have to enjoy these moments... because one day in the future I will think back to this time and I know my heart will ache for the days when my sweet two year old said "snuggle" everynight just to keep me from leaving his room before bed.I will miss the days when he wants me to kiss his ouchie or he wants to "help" me sweep the floor or cook dinner.

My cup runneth over.

Changes

So much has been going on in the Madison family the last few months. So. Much.

We have been getting settled into our new house, trying to organize, decorate and figure out how we want everything to be arranged and look. We recently began tackling Casey's bedroom. He had a toddler bed in his room but we hadn't really begun making it his "big boy" room yet. He now has a full sized bed, new bedding, cute blue walls and some fun decor for the walls. He looks absolutely adorable when I peek in on him at night and he is snuggled up in his big bed. He is such a sweet and loving little boy. He is becoming increasingly hilarious everyday and brightens my stressful days in ways I never dreamed anyone could.

In addition to getting the house ready the past few months, we have also learned that Casey is going to be a big brother! Thats right, Baby Madison #2 will be arriving in July 2011. Its definitely been a challenge working full time, taking care of Casey, working around the house and dealing with first trimester yuckiness.... but I thank God everyday for our newest blessing.

We had our first ultrasound 2 weeks ago and then got to hear the baby's heartbeat today at our appointment. Even though its the second baby, the joy and excitement you feel when you hear that tiny heart beating is JUST as thrilling as with the first baby. The idea of loving a second baby as much as I love my little Casey is so exciting and overwhelming all at the same time. My cup runneth over.

Below is a recent picture of Casey as well as one of Baby #2.